; AN UN-OPENED HEART ;

Thursday, August 30, 2007Y

expectations may be good and bad at the same time. at the moment, to me, they ain't really good. =x the stress is mounting, and i'm really scared. =x what if, i can't make it. what if, i don't make it. what if, i slip off that board. what if... too many "what if(s)". and it's pointless to think of the "what if(s)" now. =x

papers were not really fantastic, or rather, not really ok. i made them a disappointment. ): i can only blame myself for really lousy time management. ): *RAHS-

my wisdom tooth is growing again. ): it's giving me problems and now i can't really talk properly. =x i hate it. it LOVES to grow during my exam period. people are telling me that it will give me wisdom. i doubt so, after today's papers. ): whatever it is, it's painful. *RAHS-

don't ask me, cos i won't say. ask me again, i will blast. try me.

feigning ignorance? or is it really over? no one new came by. i'm just leaving the door unopen. that's all.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

8:40 PM

Tuesday, August 28, 2007Y

last day of SEP today. super super cool game played. ((: i scored 87 POINTS! ((: was a super super high bowler today. for every ball i bowled, if i score, i will jump and laugh, then keep adding my points. wahaha! =p the last few bowl was great. hitting either 7/8/9 pins down straight. (; the instructor too said i improved. heh! sense of achievement luh! (; i lovelovelove bowling to bits! ((: awwww. now that it's the end of SEP, i kinda miss THE CHEVRONS' ORCHID BOWL & the two nice nice instructors...

8:11 PM

Sunday, August 26, 2007Y

application APPROVED! ((: happy happy! awaiting the experience with eager. ((:

nancy dear is going to shanghai. ): 12th sept. 10am flight. back only at the end of november. i'm so gonna miss her. ):

i'm going to cut my hair this week! ((: cutting it SHORTTTT. (; i hate the messy state i'm in now. i look like a total maddy. =p

9:29 PM

a teacher wannabe! ((: i'm egg-cited! are you? (;

i hate exam period. they give me horrible headaches. ):

i have a weird body system. i don't react to coffee. they make me feel puke-y and sleepy. i react weirdly to milo. they make me too awake to even sleep.

media & censorship. singapore & singaporeans. marriage : romance & love VS economic reasons. science VS art. globalisation or poverty. free-will or determinism.

12:53 AM

Thursday, August 23, 2007Y

watch "LIVE THE DREAM" and VOTE FOR SHAUNA SIMONS! ((: yay! she got into the top 10! yadayada! (;

hectic days filled with books, papers and late nights. i've got panda eyes. i swear i've never studied so hard before in my entire life. and i just hope that this will keep going, till the 70 odd days are over, and i'll be free-d.

bowling on tuesday started off bad. i was being sent to the bowling centre with only myself on the bus. yes, the whole bus is mine, because i'm "special". the teacher said so. =x and when i reach the centre, i saw "some people" that made me felt worst. BUT! the game was good. (: i scored 18 points that day! all by myself ok! so happy. haha! =p i love the three-step-drill. and i love rolling the ball down the alley. haha! =p

consultation-less today, so i get to go home at 1.25. (: it has been really longggg since i last get to go home soooo early. =p

no SSDC tomorrow. gonna "roll" home to mug. one whole day to catch up on my lagging schedule. (: it's lagging because make-up tuition on tuesday night ended at 10, and i reach home at near 10.30. didn't get to cover what i wanted to that night, so got to push things backwards. =x sian-ded.

a conclusion that i gathered last night. no econs mcq practice at 12.30am. it is demoralising. =x

11:59 PM

Monday, August 20, 2007Y

ask me, what was my reaction when i saw that line of words. i was a little sad, but not as sad as i thought or expected myself to be. i suddenly feel far and away, and there seem to be so many differences in between. so much differences that it covers all the similarites we share. maybe, it's a form of relief for me. or maybe, it's the start of another something. whatever it is, things and feelings are no longer like in the past, and i'm moving on. (: over the past two years plus, memories were really beautiful. i'm thankful for every single moment. (:

some things just got to come when i'm going through the toughest point of my journey. words spread, things are turning haywire... they are just not what i want them to be, and i'm trying really hard to swallow them down, alone.

this is my final turning point, and it's either a do or die. i cannot afford the latter, and i need to work even harder than the others to achieve the first. well, who ask me to always be a tad slower than the rest, and always a little more retarded?

10:45 PM

Saturday, August 18, 2007Y

a quick sum up for the past two days, cos the highlight is TODAY! ((:

thursday & friday was as usual. school and back home to mug. just that, yesterday, i'm back at SSDC for my driving practical. saw paul "gor gor" when i was walking towards my car. exchanged a quick hello. (: when uncle salleh open the driver's door, he saw me and his face showed a "shocked" look. when he asked me what happen, and what went wrong, my tears just welled up. ): i know i disappointed a few instructors. ): when he ask me if uncle ang knows about it, i said, "no, haven't seen him for quite some time already." but after my lesson, uncle salleh saw uncle ang, and i guess, he told him? sighs. =x

and the entire driving session was rather bad. =x i keep getting engine stalls when i'm doing slope. i just can't get the clutch right. and the thing is, slope is one of the easiest circuit course, and the one that i'm best at. ): i drive until "pek cek", and i really want to scream. =x

enough of my "pek cek-ism". now, TODAY! ((: MIAKE performed at the esplanade's library. (: my LOVELY MIAKE! ((: i bluff-ed some of them that i won't be going, cos i'm having tuition, and can't make it on time to watch and support them. they really believe. but actually, i already arrange with leong dearie & sisters' club to go together. =p so, when they saw me, and the rest of us, they were like, "I THOUGHT YOU SAY YOU NOT COMING?!" hahahahahahahahaha! =p so nice to see their shock faces & "screaming" at me. HAHA! =p

woke up pretty early today, and had a quick breakfast and went down to meet leong. i thought it would take quite long for me to travel down to city hall from potong pasir, so i left home at 9.45am. but leong messaged me when i was already on the way that he will be late. so i waited for him till around 11.30am? haha. but well, i brought along things to do, so time flew past. ((: after meeting him, we went down to the library to meet yihong & yichuang. (: got seats, and we start to study. ((:

but as time pass, and MIAKE's performance time drew near, i got even more excited, and i totally lose it. HAHA! i went nutty in the library, jumping and talking non-stop. =p especially after yihong told me that our SYF photo is pinned on the board. i rushed to the board to see, and got so high about it. =p i took photos of the poster, and i keep poking at the picture because i spot myself. =p and i start to think, which part of the song are we at, cos the angklungs and some kulintangs are not playing. =p

the mini poster. (:

MIAKE SYF '07. ((:

MIAKE's performance is suppose to start at 3pm. but when i saw mr pow at around 2.20, i rush back to our studying area and ask the rest if we want to go sit at their performance area. =p so... at 2.30pm, we're like sitting right in front! =p i sat at the first row, and slowly, the year1s & 2s came into the library. when they saw us, they were like waving! =p i got even more excited and high. =p

the whole thing started with a presentation by atika (MY NEW AKE FRIEND!), yinwhee sweets & fanndly, a year1. (: after that, was the teach-and-learn how to play the angklung time. (: they taught the audience "twinkle twinkle little star". after the teaching time, they performed with the kulintangs, as an ensemble. GUESS WHO'S THE CONDUCTOR FOR THE SONG? ((: ((: ((:

HENDRA SUNSHINE LOVEEEEEE! ((:

during the second time they played "twinkle twinkle little star" together, atika asked the audience to sing along. then, hendra turn & pointed at me, and say, "sing ah!" haha! he's really cute today. =p and he kept smiling luh! i finally feel his sunrays again! WHEE~ (; I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE MY HENDRA SUNSHINE LIKE MADNESS! I LOVE HIM LIKE CRAZEH! (: haha. i'm nuts. really nutty. =p

i want to say AGAIN, I LOVE MY MR SUNSHINE LOVE, HENDRA! ((:

after interaction with the audience, it's MIAKE's showtime! ((: they played 8 songs, and they were good. (: i got really high and i'm really super happy while watching the whole thing, because... THE VIBRAPHONE IS JUST IN FRONT OF ME! ((: and the whole ensemble is so near me! ((: hendra love is playing just right in front of me too! (: wahahahahahahahaha. =p

hendra love on the vibraphone! ((: my two lovelove(s).

took photos with some of the lovelies, and also snapped some of them while they are performing. ((: i really miss MIAKE a lot, and i miss AKE music a lot. watching them perform now, is like watching myself performing in the past. watching them now, is such a different feeling that i have in the past. i used to be up there, as a performer. now, i'm an audience below, watching my beloved cca mates playing. (: they sounded great. and i really feel great watching and hearing them play. ((: I LOVE MY MIAKE! ((:

she's my new cutie ake friend, ATIKA! ((:

more more loves of my life! ((: cj, edith, yichuang, yihong & sera. <3

more of today's photos at : MIAKE PERFORMANCE @ ESPLANADE LIBRARY '
07. ((:

these few days, i was pretty emo. worried for SSDC practical, worried for studies and all. i feel so down. but i can say that i'm really a lucky girl, with really awesome friends like ignatious love, leong dear, hendra love, claris gf, sher gf, edith sweetie sister, sera dear and a lot more. they are really great people for me to have in my life. (: they never fail to bring an upside down rainbow up on my face. (:

enough of playing. really played & high-ed a lot today. haha! i think i'm really going mad. got to switch back to mugger mode already.

SEIZE THE DAY LOVES! ((:

9:13 PM

Wednesday, August 15, 2007Y

I CAN'T DONATE BLOOD TOMORROW! ): down with flu on monday night, it got really bad on tues. a little better today, but i still can't donate blood. ): i must be as fit as a fiddle THREE days before the donation. ): i realise, everytime i say i want to donate blood, i WILL fall sick. =x

bowling was baaaaaad yesterday. =x i didn't score a single point. i kept washing the "long kang". i guess, i'm the lousiest bowler ever. *RAHS-

ake photo taking today! (: we got our ake tee shirt. it's BLACK with our ALL-TIME EMBROIDERY, with LIME GREEN PRINTINGS at the back. (: niceeeeeee! will take a photo of it soon. ((: ake rock socks! we got like 6 informal shots? haha. and our group is BIGGGGGG. =p we were allowed to hold "props" when we do informal shots. at first, i took the red vibes hard mallets. then my dearest meiling came and ask me if i want the pair of dark green hard mallets. the pair i used for syf. ((: she's a real darling. so i got my "terror" mallets for photo-shoot! (;

after photo taking, was in HARMONIS waiting for my mummy to come. watch them practice, and talked to my sunshine love. (: miss him truckies! he's on the vibes for "accidentally in love". woohoo~ i still miss ake music a lot. =x

2006 GP paper. worst compre ever done this year. really sad-ed. ): WAKE UP & BUCK UP PLEASE! =x

prelims schedule is out. papers on EVERY SINGLE DAY, except the last day. madness schedule! =x

back to mugger world. =x

your smile is engraved deep within. (:

7:55 PM

Sunday, August 12, 2007Y

maths makes me mad. i'm stuck at TP's maths p1 for 2.5 hours. the paper was tough. i nearly went mad. =x

econs makes me mad. monopoly mcq is the worst market structure mcq i've ever done. someone, save me. =x

i think before i even try getting into NTU's division of psychology, i would have already turned psycho-tic, and need to be psycholog-ised. ok, that's so not funny.

econs + maths = psycho-tic shirley with a whole load of rubbish. (:
*thank goodness, A levels schedule didn't put these two subjects together. (:

2:17 AM

Saturday, August 11, 2007Y

after dinner last night, mummy & daddy wanted to buy durians home. we were at katong area, and my little sister's cravings for her MUNCHY DONUTS were knocking again. she "made noise" to mummy & daddy, and they bought a box home. ((: they come in a dozen per box, with each donut of any flavour at $1. they are really nice. ((: the donut is really different from those at the bread shops. MUNCHY's are really soft with thick coating above. really really nice. ((:

12 donuts : choc-o-late, oreo, chocolate & almond, chocolate & banana, choco rainbow, strawberry (supposedly is sitted in the hole there! but my little sissy took it immediately when she open the box. HAHA! =p ) & original. *YUMMS-

MUNCHY DONUTS - ONE IS NOT ENOUGH. i'm serious. ((:

i feel accomplished. (: over the past three days, i manage to do:

ALL my homework
1 GP essay
revised for CLA poems
revised for econs : INTERNATIONAL TRADE, MARKET STRUCTURE

((:

hope this drive just keep going, and not die off anytime till As are over. i'm so near to the end already. LAST TWO LAPS. *ALL THE WAYYYYYYYY! ((:

12:46 AM

Thursday, August 09, 2007Y

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! (: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARID! ((:

just finish watching the parade. it was really beautiful. (: i love march-past. whenever i watch the parade, i will miss those good old NP days, the NO.1 uniform i once don, and that NO.12 MARK 16 i once held. (:

yesterday, i get to watch MIAKE perform for the first time, without myself being on stage with them. the feeling off-stage was, different. for the whole of yesterday's celebration, i look forward to MIAKE's performance the most. =p they were great. i really thought they were. (: i love MIAKE, and i really miss them so... i hear hendra sunshine on the vibraphone. the vibraphone that i miss. at that moment when they were playing, i wish i was part of them. haha! =p when the curtains draw open, and when they push/carry their instruments forward, it reminds me of our I-DAY performance...

this is how they look when they were on stage, and from where i sit. (: sadly, the photo ain't really clear. all thanks to my phone's only 1.3 megapixel camera. =x still, they look great. (:

the RED MIAKE-IANs. ((:

for the whole of today, i'm indulging myself with endless AKE recordings. (: i really miss them...

will you swim the current? will you scale new heights? ((:

[add]
DADDY'S HOME FROM BEIJING! ((: and he swept a whole big bag of really cheap & cute stuffs back. ((: i had a GREATTTTT time choosing the things i like luh! no one supports daddy's shopping as much as i do please. hahaha! =p was telling daddy, if he goes to CHINA again at the end of the year to do his stock searching, i'm so gonna tagggggg along. =p i want to sweep cheap & good stuffs too! WAHAHA! =p

time check: 1.36am.
[/add]

8:35 PM

Tuesday, August 07, 2007Y

i feel zapped. =x

manage to finish up my CLA & management tutorials, and on the way revised while i did the questions. could remember most of what i've studied for mids, and i'm happy. (:

i hate to be wronged when i'm just concerned. i don't deserve to be shout at, just because i care. if that's the case, i shall not bother/care about you, and let you be.

i guess, i won't be blogging too often as of now. intensive mugging has started, and i will try to curb my temptation of going anywhere near the computer. keep the tags rolling in as usual, i will pop by to check once in awhile. (:

bowling later in the afternoon! ((: i love to bowl, and may i bowl myself in later. ((:

i'm getting ready for take off. i'm in my cockpit, waiting to direct myself onto the exact path for flying. watch me fly, will you? (:

12:06 PM

Sunday, August 05, 2007Y

I'VE BOUGHT MY CHUMPY! ((: i bought the RED CHUMPY! ((: I LOVE MY RED CHUMPY! ((:

decided to buy the red one, because it matches my red glamour bag. ((: went down to PARAGON to get my youngest sister her limited edition purple messenger bag. so on the way i can get my chumpy! ((: but because of these two items, my "account" is 80 bucks lower in value. ): got to really start saving up. if not, at the end of the year, i will be under deficit. ):

ok, i think i'm seriously too "poisoned" by econs. ): i feel super dumb over this subject please. i don't seem to be able to get my facts right, and it's really getting on my nerves when i don't. ): *RAHS-

3:55 PM

Saturday, August 04, 2007Y

friday & weekends are empty without daddy. ): i miss daddy like a whole lot please! may wednesday come soon, so that he'll be back home safe & sound. (: but, for the sake of our living, daddy got to really work. ): well, just for the next few months i guess. once my As are over, it's time i start contributing to the household income as well. but, i've got NO working experience, and i seriously don't know how working life is like. hurhurhur.

tuition class was like "flooded" with people today. rare case, especially on a saturday...

i manage to convince myself finally to "face" international trade. happy to say, i've succumbed "why trade, absolute & comparative advantage". ((: although it's one whole big chunk, at least i made progress for it. (: i'm so gonna beat international trade down. *ALL THE WAYYYYYYYY-

gonna whip up western dinner for my sisters & mummy tonight. (; yadayada!

i love my new blogskin, do you? ((: will change the header photo soon, when i got the time. (: meanwhile, let it be! =p

was browsing through crumpler's website, and guess what i saw? ((:

red chumpy! (:

blue chumpy! (:

black chumpy! (:

[photo credits to CRUMPLER.COM.SG]

THE CHUMPY! (: it comes in FOUR different colours, but i LIKE these three moreeeee. =p there goes the temptation again. =p it's $30 per chumpy, and i thought the price is rather reasonable for a crumpler product? i don't know. but i think i will most probably get it. i need a proper and decent wallet anyway. ok, all the more determined that i MIGHT get it, and i SHALL get it, real soon. =p

[add]
MUMMY GAVE ME THE "GREEN LIGHT" TO BUY CHUMPY! ((: i'm sooooooo happy! (; wahaha. YAYNESS! ((:

*beams with joy*

on a sadder note, my dino darling is bunking in tomorrow into her NTU hostel. ): she's starting school on monday. i'm so gonna miss my dearest dino.

time check: 9.15pm
[/add]

5:56 PM

Friday, August 03, 2007Y

i love shopping with mummy. (: cos it means, NEW CLOTHES ADDED INTO WARDROBE! (; haha. bought two tops & one leggings today. (; whee~

didn't study in school today, cos edith wasn't in school, and i didn't want to study alone in the library. so mummy came to fetch me for lunch, and bought clothes, and did shopping at NTUC. =p

ake's performing on national day celebration & on the 18th at the esplanade library. (: i'm giving my strength, support, energy & love to meiling. and i'm giving my courage and loves to YINWHEE DEARIE & HENDRA SUNSHINE LOVE. <3 yinwhee's playing on the bells, and my one & only sunshine love is playing on the vibes. (: my dearest kulintang SL is the student conductor. (: of course, i didn't forget the rest of MIAKE. (: all of them have my BIG LOVES too! ((: PLEASE SUPPORT MIAKE! ((:

FIVE MORE WEEKS TO PRELIMS. and i'm not bucking up enough. ): *RAHS-

5:45 PM

Wednesday, August 01, 2007Y

i love bowling! (: scored for myself 11 points, after many many "long-kang" balls. =p still, I LOVE TO BOWL! (;
i love "competing" with julie love. i promise not to laugh at you ok? (: *hugs-
leong's my life teacher. (: he taught me a lot ever since the day i know him. (: a great friend to have, i'm serious. (:
21/40 for econs mcq mock test. (: i'm happy because it's my own effort, and i'm really happy because there are various concepts that i can still remember really well. of course, more more hard work for econs. *rahs-
i love edith sweetie, my study companion. (:
ake had sectionals today, and i hear the kulintang section rehersed before i left school. (: i miss ake.
i feel soooo tired & exhausted. barely 3.5 hours of sleep last night. =x
daddy flew off to beijing this morning. back only on national day. ): i miss daddy... ):
after torturing the pig yesterday in the library, on my way for SEP, after SEP and on my way home, i decide to love the pig today. (: it's sitting there on my table, watching me study. =p
i love the person who gave the piggy. (: *hugs-
i love the pig. 'cos it's PINK & it's a PIG. (;

7:54 PM