Wednesday, August 31, 2005Y
31/08/2005. *piano exam.teachers day celeb*
went ferr the paper todae.
nort too bad.
but i was damn nervous.
nervous until i dunnoe how to sit still
while waiting lahs.
and when im in there.
my hands are cold.
and my fingers tremble like
nobodys biz lahs.
but it was a little better
than the other time lahs. :)
teachers day celeb was best.
had fun.
and i bet.
the teachers had fun too!
and mrs heng and mr heikal was
mr and mrs popular.
hahas!
and mr raj won an award too! x)
body combat looks fun.
but i didnt take part.
left earlier.
hmmms hmmms.
yang they all gort do lantern
todae.
but silly buddies.
didnt let me noe.
sighs.
and im realli nort contributing
norhs.
sad-ded. :(
sighs!
chalet booked lerhs.
going with my three buddies.
and maybe tee wei.
looking forward.
oh yahs!
guess wat?
jus now.
ps tell me.
actually.
rodrick gort sense and feel
that i like him lahs.
and he go tell ps that.
hmmms.
and ps jus told me todae!
like.so long.hahas!
but i dunnoe lahs.
dun want to care.
ehs.im still buying him
present ferr his bdae.
gees.but realli hope he
understands that.
im doing that.
cos im treating him as
my fren.and nth more.
hope he understands. =)
*[melted.]*
Tuesday, August 30, 2005Y
30/08/2005. *giving up on myself*
i feel a pang of guilt.
wat can i say?
there are a whole bunch of ppl
out there.
caring and concerning ferr me.
and here im.
giving up on myself.
and lying to myself.
im so useless.
and so dumb.
im realli useless and dumb.
*[lost ferr words.]*
Y
30/08/2005. *screamy me*
didnt get to blog yest.
but yest was jus plain.
and nth much.
its todae.
that happened alot.
hahas!
im super screamy todae.
yes.
super screamy.
alittle oso scream.
ferr nth oso scream.
and mr heikal.
wanted to record down me
doing my IFAH.
and i dun want.
and i scream again. =/
played with fil badminton todae.
and i saw ss thru'out the entire
ltt session.
hes just there lahs.
sitting there.
and i bet.he heard me scream.
i bet.he see me do stupid
things.
but im jus being me.
the me that im.
its either others accept it.
or ferrget it.
so its either he accept it
that theres such a girl.
or he dun even bother.
i dun realli care.
in fact.
i realli do care.
i yearn ferr him to care.
nahs. *strike that off*
dun wish ferr sth so impossible
yahs?
its nort going to be true lahs.
even if its going to be.
its going to be in my drims.
okes.ive gort to admit this.
i still cant make myself let go.
i cant.
when i see him todae.
everything just came back lahs.
and i see him ferr a whole
40 mins.
so.wat eu tink?
moreover.its a more than 1/2
year thingy.
cant expect me to let go
as and when i like ayes?
i cant do it lahs.
if im to do that.
its so nort me oreadi.
i just want to be myself.
*ive been saying that tons
of times*
piani exams tml.
and im nort realli confident
as yet.
i feel so back.
i feel so lousy.
i feel so stressed up over
my scales.
i feel depressed over
scales.
i might fail scales.
nonono.
im nort going to fail.
nort going to fail any.
i promise to give mrs lee
her best teachers day prezzie.
thats a pass ferr my paper.
yes.
im going to pass.
nort with flying colours.
but a pass.
ferr sure.
*can i do it?*
*[i told myself to move on.
yes.im moving on.
i told myself to let go.
no.im nort letting go.]*
Sunday, August 28, 2005Y
28/08/2005. *new tag board*
yahs.
new tag board.
AGAIN!
hahas. x)
the previous floodbox.
gort prob.
so faster change to this.
seems to be better.
hahas! x)
but i'll try nort to use
back cbox.
hahas! x)
want sth new. =)
*[showing everyone.i can do it.]*
Y
28/08/2005. *condoned behaviour*
he condones her behaviour.
well.then i gort nth
to say lerhs.
so long as hes happie.
im fine with it.
im realli fine with it. =)
yang and all nort coming over
today lerhs.
yang want us to have family day.
lols! =p
jus found out sth.
gp can be realli boring and dry.
as in.to study ferr ahs.
i oso dunnoe.
hahas!
gort to go study ferr maths
test lerhs.
nort realli confident ferr
some parts.
uckily i gort take add maths
before.
so nmow.
its more of a refreshing
of memory
lahs. ;)
im at an advantage as
compared to the others.
going out ferr dinner with
auntie lynette and family.
sighs!im tired!
deprived of slp.
lols! =p
*[i believe i can do it.]*
Saturday, August 27, 2005Y
27/08/2005. *daddies.marmies*
lalalalas.
jus gort home from dinner.
with god daddie and god marmie.
miss them loads wors.
gees.
ehs.very long nv see them lerhs
mahs.hahas!
so suddenly.
have the urge to dine in with
them. ;)
went ferr steamboat at COCA.
yumms. =p
before that.
went to gave aunt jos and family
support at IMM.
ferr the family idol.
they didnt win lahs.
but gort consolation. :)
*congrats dearies*
last nites dinner.
was super bad.
first of all.
its boring.
secondly.
have to eat with the ppl i dun
want to eat with.
on the same table lahs.
and the food is like a spoilt
water tap.
jus keep coming and coming.
non-stop.
and ive totally no appetite.
*nahs.nort becos of THAT case*
and im oreadi bloated by the amt
of water i drink lahs.
i drink tons of water.
hahas! x)
this morning.
had a marathon lesson with
mrs lee.
and okes.ive gort to admit
this ting.
my aural sucks to the core.
lols!
i cant sing lahs.
and i cant hear the left hand
that part.
cannot hear = cant sing.
died-ded.
hahas! x)
well.im prepared.
to flunk my first section
ferr aural.
hahas! =)
thats so me lahs. ;)
yang and guys coming over
to my place tml.
to continue with lantern
making. ;)
cant wait.
hees.
ehs.still gort tuition tml
morning.
*yawns*
im so tired.
woke up at 7.45.
guess im going to
hit the pillows as soon as
i finish up SRJC's AQ.
and study some maths.
test on binomial on monday.
hope i score.
ive super high hopes on maths.
and nort ferrgetting.
CHINESE!
lols. =p
*[i cant live without eu.who says?]*
Friday, August 26, 2005Y
26/08/2005. *dinner*
one thing that i dread
todae.
is nort chi lit lesson.
im actually starting to
lurve my chi lit
lessons lahs! x)
hahas.
okes.wat i dread is.
DINNER TIME!
sighs.
i have to go have dinner
with my grandfather.
and some other ppl.
whom i dun realli wish
to see lahs.
but as if ive gort a choice.
i dun.ive to go.
and ive to.
sian-ded sias. =/
orites.
gort to go get changed.
hmmms.
tml aunt jos,uncle henry,
eugene bao bei,
louis dear,
ranie darling are going to
compete in the final round
of family idol.
and we're going to support
them at IMM.
whees! x)
and im going to IMM.
to buy pencil case!
hahas.
*pink pencil case.
here i come!* =p
*[eu are no longer part of me.]*
Y
26/08/2005. *I WANT TO SHOUT OUT LOUD!*
YES!
I WANT TO SHOUT!
SHOUT OUT LOUDS!
mans.
wat a choice lahs.
okes.
im just angry.and irritated.
nahs.im nort going to fall into
another depression.
and let yang have another chance to lecture me. =p
kaos.y on earth is it her?
at first.i thot it was the other one.
and im relieved.
cos that one.looked realli gentle
and nice.
BUT I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO GO
FERR HER!
mans.wat a choice lahs!
i almost fainted when i heard it
frm yang noes?
at first.yang they all didnt tell me.
but i overheard them.
i chose to act as if i nv hear anything.
then during mgt lecture.
she told me that its her.
and i was laughing.
i cant stand it.
i just burst out laughing.
ferr wat?
i oso dunnoe.jus laughed.
hahas! x)
sighs.nvm lahs.
wend oso say.
nort fated ferr me.
well.i oreadi woke up.
and ready to move on.
wend say my mood like sgp's
weather.
hahas! =D
and i was tinking.
only that i dunoe how to do
forecasting.hahas!then can
noe when its going to rain.
and when its going to shine.
lols! =p
*[im movin' on.with a new heart.]*
Thursday, August 25, 2005Y
25/08/2005. *letting go*
i had a bad morning in sch.
i had bad mood.
im depressed.
im sads.
in the morning.
yang,wend and cais are
finding out which girl.
and yang pat me on the
back.
honestly.me myself oso
hope to noe who the
girl is.
i noe.she is definitely better
than me in millions and
thousands of times.
but i cant help it.
thot abt alot last nite.
i didnt expect myself to realli
go fall ferr him.
at first.
it was jus his smile.his looks.
thats all.
but frm wat i heard frm yang
yesterdae.
before i go ferr ake prac.
i totally broke down.
and my heart sanked.
i realli fall into deep and
severe depression.
im sad.
realli sad.
and todae.i spent the entire
morning.
sulking.and refusing to eat.
and yang asked me.
"is it worth it norts?is it worth
being so sad.and having
attitude?"
i noe.it isnt.i noe i shldnt have
shown attitude and make
myself so down and sad.
i noe i shldnt.
but i jus gort to noe that.
ive fallen ferr him.
i didnt noe till yest.
yes.yest.i jus noe that yest.
an unexpected news.
an unexpected feeling.
im nort prepared.
but when i heard frm yang that
ting.i realli fall deep into
sadness.nort even in the mood
to joke with farid abt rommance.
no mood at all.
when huda tok to me.
i can only nod my head.
shake my head.
when i see yang,cais and wend.
im oreadi on the verge of breaking
down.
yes.thats how sad im yest.
and how shattered im.
even tee wei find sth wrong with
me yest.
and can even show care.
thats how i look yest. =/
sadness filled my heart.
and my face as well.
thats how sad im.
but todae.
yang brain washed me during
mgt tutorial.
and i thot abt it thru'out mgt
lecture and body combat
training.and found that im
actually doing sth silly.
yang,wend and cais are rite.
when sth is nort mine.
it will nv be mine.
the more i hope ferr it to be
mine.
all the more it wont be.
yangs rite.
if theres a sense of wanting to
be frens.
we wld have exchanged words
of hello.and probably smile.
but i didnt receive any.
so its totally impossible.
possibility is completely zero.
so.i shld move on in life.
with three wonderful buddies.
and one new fren.tee wei. :)
wend:i'll take gud care of myself.
i wont anyhow tink derhs.
cais:i noe.no matter wat.i have
eu three girls here.im more than
satisfied.
yang:thans ferr the brain wash.
thans ferr the waking up.
thans ferr all.
tee wei:thans ferr being so
observant.and thans ferr caring. :)
i give eu four my promise.
i'll take gud care of myself.
i'll move on in life.
i'll be back to the usual self in no
time.i promise.
so.im sure to make it. :)
*[im determined to do wat i want.]*
Wednesday, August 24, 2005Y
24/08/2005. *pictures frm lau pa sat*
here it is!
the pics taken at LPS.
some are frm me.
some frm sben.
lols! x)
enjoy yahs?
*anyways.who noes where to get
the other photos.do let me noe wors!
thans loads! x) *
Y
24/08/2005. *heart-broken*
yes.
im heart broken.
im sad.
im disappointed.
dun ask.
dun probe.
i dun wish to tell.
yang is comforting me.
asking me to cheer up.
but when i see yang.
and she came over to hug me.
i almost cried.
realli.i almost cried out to her.
and i see cais and wend there.
and i see tee wei.
tee wei sees that im unhappy.
asked me y.
and i dun want to tell.
mans.when i see the four of
them.my heart sink again.
realli feel like crying lahs.
and when i see huda.
i realli want to cry.
argh!im seeing ppl who
can realli make me want to
cry out lahs!
and ake prac todae is no fun.
i mean.ferr me only.
i bet the others did enjoyed
themselves.
i nort in the mood to be happie.
and honestly.
this is the first time i find ake
prac hours so damn long lahs.
and when things finally ended.
i saw him again.
and this time.
i dun even feel like looking
at him.
nort at all.
sighs.alahs.dun wish to tok
abt my sad sad ting.
later i feel worst.
but sure enuf.
im heart broken.
and totally sad.
sighs!
yipee!i dun have to go ferr
ake prac on sat.
cos i nort performing on
teachers day.
and i dun have to do theory!
wooties!
and farid still say.
rommance will be sad when im
nort there.
oh yahs!and he still tell me
to faster go into the room the
moment he see me.
nort chasing me to go take
photo.but telling me that.
rommance is inside.
kaos.farid is realli a superb
joker lahs.hahas!
but lucky ferr him.
despite my bad mood.
when he disturb me.
i didnt shoot him.
hahas!
*count eurself lucky farid*
*[i dunoe wat to say.or even do.]*
Tuesday, August 23, 2005Y
23/08/2005. *econs essay.tough*
mans.
mr raj aint in sch ferr econs todae.
and left us with werk to do.
and guess wat?
we dunnoe how to do sias!
its tough lahs.
realli difficult.
we gort points.
but like nort points like that.
:( sad-ded lahs.
sighs.dunnoe nehs.
i didnt left the werk on mrs wong
derhs table oso.
cos nort all pass up.
hand in tml bahs.
at least.we all gort time to like
realli go tink abt the qn.
and like werk on it.
ive completed mine.
but i dunnoe if its like correct.
cos i nort confident ferr the qn.
sighs.
gort photo-taking at ttc tml.
and loads of bc ppl are going
down there ferr it.
and guess wat?
mr ser dun allow me re-run
my 2.4 lahs.
he say pass liaos.
no need to re-run.
want to re-run.
have to use run in sch.
i was like.
wat the...
cos its so different lahs.
to run at the stadium and at
sch. :s
but he say no.then no norhs.
=/
i saw eu todae.
when im having gp lesson.
while im werking on my compre.
i saw eu in eur class.
i saw eu when i went to the gym.
eu walked in.
while i walked out.
i saw eu running.
when me and yang went to fill transport
form.eu running the library blk.
i saw eu again.
when im going ferr maths.
i saw eu outisde the library.
i jus caught eu.
counting down.
less than 50 days to see eu. :(
still remember fridae.
when wend tell me that.
she saw eu looking.
im happie.excited.and over the moon.
oooo.hahas.sat was a total
blast lahs.
i jus cant help it.
but say.hahas!
and yang they all actually
intended to buy me and yc
flowers.hahas!
luckily they didnt. =p
anyways.i had eye filled
of eye candy.
hahas! x)
im going mads. =p
*[scenes of eu smiling.stays.]*
Monday, August 22, 2005Y
22/08/2005. *lau pa sat*
woohoos!
i gort my com back liaos.
hees. x)
its discharged finally!
orites.here to update.
esp on sat derhs event.
hahas!
YES!
MILLENNIAS AKE RAWK
LAU PA SAT.
WE BROUGHT THE ROOF
DOWN.
WE GORT THUMBS UP
FROM MY PARENTS,
AUNT JOS.
AND NORT FERRGETTING
MY DEAREST BUDDIES.
YANG.WEND.CAIS.TEE WEI TOO!
HAHAS.THANS PEEPS!
yahs.we gort nort one thumbs
up.but...TWO!
hahas.we gort applauses.
we gort praises.
they say we were gud.
we were wonderful.
we were great!
mans.im so damn high lahs!
and im so happie that we did
it this time round.
we gort the whole lau pa sat
going.
we gort the entire crowd go WOW!
i lurve ake to bits lahs!
yeahs!im so happie!
hahas! x)
and okes.
farid they all made fun of me
during makan time in the ake
room lahs.
and realli make me so damn
malu norhs!
shall keep that within just ake
yahs?hahas! x)
nahs.i wont take it to heart.
even when yang they all
bluff me that ss was there.
i didnt even take it to heart.
hahas! x) everyones having
fun.so.y shld i spoil the mood
yahs?
I LURVE AKE!
I LURVE ALL AKE MEMBERS!
MUACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
*[i saw eu todae.i miss eu.]*
Thursday, August 18, 2005Y
18/08/2005. *2.4.kick-boxing*
dun bother to ask me abt my
2.4 run yesterdae yahs?
im going to do my 2.4 all
over again.
cos im doubting my own
timing ferr the run yestedae.
and im determined to do it
once more.
to test out the real results.
mad ayes?thats wat yang
they all say as well.
but i dun deny the fact that
lunch time training did werk.
and i did improve alot ferr
my own timing. ;)
thans to all pe teachers yahs?
esp mr azlan. ;)
did body combat ferr lunch
time training todae.
and it just one word.
FUN!
hahas! x) i realli enjoyed
the session arhs.
going to drag yang,wend
and cais there nxt thurs.
cos we cant go ferr the
tues one.
hahas! =p
so have to go ferr only
the thurs one norhs. ;)
saw ss while im doing body combat.
hes at the top gym.
and i saw him this morning.
while im having my gp remedial.
mrs wong asked me to
go ferr gp remedial.
*happies*
i passed my econs class
test wors! x)
i gort 16/25! x)
10/15 ferr mcq.
and 6/10 ferr drq.
a major improvement arhs.
and im happie with my
results.
shall continue to werk
even harder yahs?
*yes.i will. ;) *
hmms.mr raj wont be in
sch nxt mon and tues.
mon's lesson will be given
to mrs wong ferr gp.
and tues's lesson will be
used to werk on essays.
and im suppose to collect
them.hmms. :)
going over to ttc tml.
ferr ake prac.
and sat is our performance.
do rmb to come and support
arhs?hahas! x)
*[see eu.saw eu.seen eu.]*
Tuesday, August 16, 2005Y
16/08/2005. *smiles*
my morning started off well.
cos i saw ss at the library blk.
while im going up ferr gp lesson.
and i ferrgot to bring my proj
handout.
rushed back to class to take.
and saw him again. :)
when i was going ferr recess.
saw him again. ;)
no ltt todae.
cos mr azlan let us rest.
hees.nice nice. ;)
econs test was okes.
gort 10/15.hees.
good ayes?
hmmms.gort to go ferr
my 2.4 tml.
and i gort ake after sch.
tired sias.
but im excited when i
want to go ferr prac.
hahas! x)
lalalalalas.
my dae ended on a HIGH
note.gees.
nort mentioning.
i met a weird guy
online just now.
and i dun bother him
at all.
cos i dunnoe who the hell
he is! =/
sighs.i dun care!
*[thans ferr letting me see eu.]*
Monday, August 15, 2005Y
15/08/2005. *5 stations*
okes.i did well yahs?
hahas!well my foot lahs.
i gort:
A-shuttle run. [11.13s]
B-standing broad jump. [185cm]
C-sit and reach. [42cm]
C-inclined pull up. [10]
D-sit ups. [25]
sucks lahs.hahas!
didnt do well ferr sit and reach
as well as pull up.
cos of my arm.
pain sias.
so didnt realli do well.
and sit ups.
has alwaes been my worst
section of all.
so.expected lahs.
hahas!im now super dependent
on wed lerhs lahs.
my 2.4.
hope i do well.
then at least.
wont fail.
lols! x)
schs fine.
mrs stef wong is nort in sch.
again.yahs.again.
hope shes fine.
yeahs!
my chinese compo is going to
be sent ferr competition wors!
hahas! x) so happie wors. ;)
gort sudden oral test ferr chi.
and i didnt do well ferr the
conversation part.
the reading part was okes.
woohoos!
i saw sweet smile!
hahas.its nort as if i never see before.
hahas! x)
this morning.cais msged wend.
to tell me that she and ss at the same
bus stop.and shes taking the same bus.
and i saw him in the library.
while im running thru my gp proj one last
go.hahas! x) and saw him there.
playing the com.msn-ing.
hahas! x)
and i saw that green leather wallet again! x)
*[i wld be lying if i say no.]*
Sunday, August 14, 2005Y
14/08/2005. *printer*
STUPID PRINTER!
IDIOTIC PRINTER!
cannot print things
derhs sias.
did all my graphs
lerhs.
then cannot print.
wat the hell... =/
my arm is a little
better now.
after heeding wends
advice.
apply counterpain.
hahas!
i hate the smell lahs.
but i indeed feel
much better now.
;)
*[mr.all rounder.]*
Y
14/08/2005. *d & s curves*
was werking on ppt.
doing dd and ss curves
in preparation ferr my
econs test on tues.
hahas!
and its tough lahs.
cos have to ensure that the
equilibrium is correct. :)
nort too bad a job done.
hahas! x)
tiring my eyes out lahs. =p
my left arm is realli aching
madly sias.
realli hope it gets better
bu tml wors.
if nort cannot do my
pull ups then chams
lerhs sias.
i scared i overstrain.
then cannot play
angklung wors.
*filled with worries*
*[smiles.sweet smiles.]*
Saturday, August 13, 2005Y
13/08/2005. *practice.family idol*
practise todae was pretty tiring
arhs.cos.
we learn 4 new songs within
like three hours.
and its continuously arhs.
the most difficult one is.
"when eu believe".
hahas! x)
but its a nice song lahs.
hahas! =p
but its pretty lengthy. =p
the songs are nice norhs.
after prac.
went to support aunt jos
they all ferr the
family idol.
and they manage to get
into the finals wors! x)
out of the 7 grps.
they are one of the 4.
hahas!
*congrats!*
hmms.
gort photo taking on wed.
with the entire ake grp.
hahas!
oh yahs!
todae.liang kai distributed
the instruments among the
ppl.to like.
hlp pack lahs.
and im in charge of
quite alot.
hahas! x)
and made a fool of
myself during meeting lahs.
cos im oreadi in charge of
my own big angklung.
then.liang kai ask me to
help with the vibraphone.
and liang kai assigned me
to the stick box oso.
so when i heard.
"for the stick box.
is shirley and seraphine."
then the first ting come
out from me was.
"me again?"
hahas!then liang kai say.
"y?cannot arhs?"
then i of cos say can lahs.
nort that i dun want to do
it lahs.
but was shocked to noe
that im suppose to take
care of so many things.
hahas!but i dun mind lahs.
of cos ayes? =)
i tink i injured my left
arm yesterdae.
maybe while hlping
with the carryings.
i strained my left arm. =/
hope it gets better by
mondae.
cos gort to do my 5
stations on mon.
so dun wish to go.
then cannot do. :)
*[i lurve sight seeing.]*
